


What if it was all a dream?

by Vivichan10



Series: Grey's-english [1]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Love, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29318376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vivichan10/pseuds/Vivichan10
Summary: Spolier season 11 and 17. What if everything that happened was just a dream, what if Derek was still alive?I'm really bad at summaries, so maybe you should just read to see... ;-)
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd
Series: Grey's-english [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2153568
Kudos: 9





	What if it was all a dream?

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Et si tout cela n'avait été qu'un rêve?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29318109) by [Vivichan10](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vivichan10/pseuds/Vivichan10). 



> Hi!
> 
> So today I'm trying to write for a new fandom and a new ship (even if I ship MerDer for a very long time). This story may contain some spoilers from seasons 11 and 17.  
> It's my way to cope with Derek's death, so even if I'm pretty sure this would never happen in the show, I'm glad I wrote it.
> 
> Sorry if my English is not perfect. I'm french and I'm trying to improve my writing. Please be nice.
> 
> Enjoy! *-*

Meredith was sitting on the beach. Her back leaned against a piece of driftwood and her feet could almost touch the sparkling water of the ocean. She was looking at the Sun setting on the horizon. It was spectacular, magnificent and really peaceful, and so different from her reality. She wished she could stay there forever, but she knew she had to come back. Her children were waiting for her, they needed her, her life was waiting too, and all of this, as beautiful as it was, was just a dream.

She sighed as she brought her knees to her chest. _Just one more minute…_ and then she would leave, and then she would wake up. She had to fight to heal, she had to fight so her children wouldn’t have to grow up without a father and without a mother too. She had never shrunk from peril, and she wasn’t going to today. She closed her eyes for one second and she felt HIS presence near her.

“Derek…”

“I’m here Mer.”

“I don’t want to lose you once more. It’s not fair.”

“You never lost me. You have to wake up now.”

She opened her eyes and he was there with his sparkling eyes and his McDreamy Smile. She held out her hand and stroked his cheek gently. He rested his face against her palm and breathed:

“Go Meredith. It’s going to be okay. You’ll be okay.”

Her heart was being torn in two but the young lady caressed his cheekbone with her thumb one last time and then she turned away from him. Little by little everything became blurry. First the beach and the sand, then the sea and the Sun on the horizon and finally everything was dark around her. _You never lost me._ These words echoed over and over until it all disappeared.

She expected to wake up in her bed in the hospital, her arms covered with IVs, surrounded by all the machines that controlled her vital constants, and with the terrible impression of choking in her own body. But none of that. She was actually feeling really well. Her body was relaxed, and lying in a bed much more comfortable than the one she remembered. Could we have moved her to a new room?

She opened her eyes and almost fell from her bed. First, she wasn”t at the hospital, not anymore, but in her room in the dream house that Derek built once upon a time for their family. Second, next to her, next to the bed there was a cradle and Ells was sleeping in it. But she was much younger than the last time she saw her. Here she was just a few months old baby, but Meredith could swear that the other day she spoke to a six years old Ellis. A beautiful little copy of Derek but with her own blond hair.

“Seriously?” she exclaimed.

Now her brain was playing with her again, and sending her to a new dream. After the beach, her room… her old room. She looked up at the wall above the headboard. Of course the blue post-it was there… her heart sank. As if it wasn’t already really painful to leave Derek on that beach, now she had to come back in this bed where she had never been able to sleep since his death? Her brain was after her…

She rolled over in her bed to face the place where her husband once slept, and she couldn’t help but scream in surprise. Derek was there next to her. Awakened by her shout he turned to her. He had nothing to do with the magnified and perfect version of him on the beach: his hair was a mess and he had dark circles around his eyes like he usually did when he stood in the OR all day long to operate on his patients' brains. He was exactly as she remembered. He was the Derek she had lost all of the sudden, he was the man she loved with all of her heart. This man with his flaws and his weaknesses. The man her heart beated for, just for who he was, for all he was.

“Mer? Is everything okay?”

“I… I… I’m still dreaming, am I?” she answered with very sad eyes.

“No, no I swear you’re not. You’re not sleeping and now, neither am I…”

“But you… you are…”

Derek, still half asleep, put an arm around her as if to tell her to go back to sleep because he didn’t have the courage to speak with her in the middle of the night. And there she knew. It wasn’t a dream. It was all too real to be a dream. The sensation of his hand stroking her skin in her back was just too real. And then she remembered everything: Derek was alive, he was never hit by a semi and what she thought was her reality for a second was in fact a nightmare. This really recurrent bad dream she had almost every night of what her life could be without her husband. She dreamed of it so often! So well that the details of this nightmare were piling up and making it more and more plausible.

She buried her face in the neck of her husband and inhaled his scent. He smelled really good, a mix of sandalwood, lavender (he had definitively ended up stealing her shampoo) and a scent that was only his. 

Instinctively, she held his t-shirt to keep him close, so that he never leaves her. But she never lost him. He was there for good, trying to go back to sleep in her arms.

“Derek?”

“Hmm?” he mumbled.

“I have this dream. A recurrent dream… I had this dream tonight. I dreamed that you were dead… and I also dreamed of what our life would be for the kids and I without you. Don’t you ever dare to die.”

His eyes opened wide. It wasn’t current for Meredith to confide in him like this, and he could feel all her misery in her voice. So many people had left her that she was always scared to lose the ones she loved, and even more when it came to him. They have lived and survived so many disasters that he knew where her fears came from, but it broke his heart that his wife was always waiting for a new loss. He had sworn a long time ago to never leave her and he really wanted to respect his pledge. He still wanted to live one hundred and ten years and to die in her harms, and he really did believe in this dream. He wanted so much that she believed in it too!

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying with you, with Zola, with Bailey and with Ellis. I’m not leaving.”

“Good. Because if you do, I’ll kill you.”

“Okay…” he said smiling against her neck. Then he kept going, as tenderly as possible “what do you think of that: tomorrow we spend the day together, the whole family? I will call Amelia in the morning to ask her to replace me at the hospital, later I will work two shifts in a row. Tomorrow we will go for a walk with the kids. We will take the ferryboat and we will go to this place we love to eat ice cream. Bailey and Zola can play in the park while you, me and Ellie Bell we will watch them from a bench…”

“It’s a wonderful idea Doctor Shepherd. But right now, what do you think of that: you can make love to your wife? I really need to persuade myself that I’m no longer dreaming.”

“Trust me Doctor Grey, a dream would not be able to do what I’m about to do to you.”

“Are you saying my brain isn’t good at imagining things? I just invented six whole years of life in my head…”

“Your brain is extraordinary, but what I’m about to do is beyond comprehension.” he smiled, pinning her to the mattress and positioning himself above her to tenderly capture her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah... in my head all the events from season 11 to 17 happened in Meredith's mind. However, you can imagine that your favorite moments are still canon in this reality and that all the events that broke your heart never happened (like 2020 for example ;-) ).
> 
> Hope you like it! 
> 
> See you soon! *-*


End file.
